Thursday, December 30, 2004
Monday, December 27, 2004
Last X-Max
last x-mas i spend it in bed with high fever and alone, thanks Renda for your human kind of respect to people.
Somethimes am thinking about how people going to be homeless, Prague has a good examples of them-last summer while ride one of the night tram one of them was asleep while a bug was making a journey into/over his denim jacket- rally dirty denim........I am sure no one of them dreamed to be without a place where sleep a roof over the head, somebody to share the nice moments and the unhappy too, but they get into a complicated machine the human brain and his dead end, I never thinked how can this happened till Renda left me, just in the most horrible way..leaving an used condom over my pillow and promised me to remove it and change the blankets before I going to bed ( like this can be think that can make me happy, change the blankets...funny) , but in the end he didn't he just seated and watch the TV and i did alone changed the blankets of my bed where he fucked someone else and removed the used gum from my bed,he caled his love and then after few months they are looking for the threesome, they said it love..ha..ha..ha... what can be a kind of man do this, am not happy about what happend to me but I was the looser into this I was the one how being payed in such way, am still in the position that I can't decide but just have no choice but now is too much after 1 year being treated in this way is time to spit out all the angry in me...I will not believe in love for long time maybe all life, but hope not going to be homeless( well electricity apart, see about one of my past blog) but I will always proud about myself and I know I always did my best, even if somebody don't apreciate it but I learn from them to be carefull and don't felt inlove...
Somethimes am thinking about how people going to be homeless, Prague has a good examples of them-last summer while ride one of the night tram one of them was asleep while a bug was making a journey into/over his denim jacket- rally dirty denim........I am sure no one of them dreamed to be without a place where sleep a roof over the head, somebody to share the nice moments and the unhappy too, but they get into a complicated machine the human brain and his dead end, I never thinked how can this happened till Renda left me, just in the most horrible way..leaving an used condom over my pillow and promised me to remove it and change the blankets before I going to bed ( like this can be think that can make me happy, change the blankets...funny) , but in the end he didn't he just seated and watch the TV and i did alone changed the blankets of my bed where he fucked someone else and removed the used gum from my bed,he caled his love and then after few months they are looking for the threesome, they said it love..ha..ha..ha... what can be a kind of man do this, am not happy about what happend to me but I was the looser into this I was the one how being payed in such way, am still in the position that I can't decide but just have no choice but now is too much after 1 year being treated in this way is time to spit out all the angry in me...I will not believe in love for long time maybe all life, but hope not going to be homeless( well electricity apart, see about one of my past blog) but I will always proud about myself and I know I always did my best, even if somebody don't apreciate it but I learn from them to be carefull and don't felt inlove...
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Bored at work
Am at work, looking trough the window the rain , the sky is incredibile gray and the river stream is slow, a wind move the leaves and the birds are in groups and floating next each other like they are feeling cold and the only way to worm is stay next to each other..the streets are incredibile empty and silence around, the collegues are still sleeping probably they didn't went yet to the office and also they didn't call about there arriving time...
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Broken toi
damn...&$%#&^#$#%!!! &%^(&&^*^!!!!! today finaly they come to repair my bathroom, but Rene forgot wake up on time,go at my place and wait for the plumber...so the fact is at 10am call me the owner of the flat and scream at me about there are nobody and that the plumber cost him some money..so Rene yesterday promised me to do it, so am try to call him but no answer..#&%^%#%&^#!!!! why am still believe him?
Monday, December 20, 2004
of course..
Saturday, December 18, 2004
Honza's visit
still a bit drunk from last nite..HICH!....HICH!.... Honza called this morning to meet me and a drink a coffee before X-mas, so we went to my office and talk a couple of hours about get some wrestle challenge after the holliday..sorry my head still turn and my eyes are sensitive to light..so am still drunk from last night....spend it @: www.fix-club.cz not really the best place in town, this line of slings is so : ( ...but cheap beer...
Friday, December 17, 2004
8:32am tram #3
just remembering last fall when I was used catch the tram # 3 @ 8:32 in Karlovo Namesti on the way to work, was always meet a nice guy around 30, he was wearing, a pair of ultra washed jeans, I saw from the color nearly white, a green bomber jacket, a pair nice shoes, this kind of cheap but nice,often wearing an Aprilia baseball cap, short hair and nice trimmed red beard, his beard was give me the feeling being very soft at the touch,...he was kind of far from the reality, his black shined eyes..he was probably very serious on the way to his work and he probably also don't liked it, but he seams enjoying more drum plaing, he moved his feet as drum player and his arm as well, sure he his a drum player...a nice drum player with a soft beard to cuddle..maybe I was inloved of this misterious man seating on the tram # 3 on the way to nowhere (Modrany) just being there for bring me a bit of joy after my double crash with Roman and Martin..
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Easy-sex is. Love isn't
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Saving for the morning after-or next X-mas
yes, if some of you read my yesterday blog, yes, I slept in the warm last night, get plug the electricity was cost me 1/4 of my monthly income( my ex partner and his problem and not talking way to solve his life existence ), means this year again no nice expensive gifts for X-mas, ok the important is not freezing outside is cold and wake up with a warm cup of coffe and watch " snidane s novou " on TV : ) after take a hot shower
was planed by mine
was planed by mine
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
talking and about black monday
last night FINALY talk with my former partner after 1 year of escape from me, anyway this is not the point of the today blog, went home and sleep in the darkness..they shut me down the electricity, not payed bills....so I realised that only in the night when went home after midnight, so far after a few tears drops, laid on the bad, feelt very cold but I was wondered about how was silence around me, no fridge, no heating, no TV, no light....so this morning have to move my ass and try get plugged the electricity, so probably tonight I will sleep in the warm and noise flat, but last night was a special night a quite cold silence night.
me in the cold winter 04
me in the cold winter 04
Monday, December 13, 2004
start to live
just new here....so let's start introduce myself male, 34 yo, italian, living in Prague since june 1999, where moved because of long term relathionship, which ended on october '03 after 6 years, from that time I start know how hard is beeing a foreign, burocracy is never easy...any way I learn how hard is beeing loved, if love really existing, but this is something more...